Life before... them.

So I warned you, I might sit and stay a while on the mommy topic. Who can blame me, it's my life! Day in, day out, most nights- two or three times- and weekends. It never stops.  I heard a celebrity on a talk show today (No, I don't usually watch them but today the boy is at school and the girl is napping for more than 30 minutes, let's call it my "lunch break") an expecting celebrity was asked how she was handling the fact that she was about to become a parent.  Her answer was "I'm sort of dreading it. I like my life, I like the way things are. I don't want everything I know to disappear and become a new life."  My first response was to roll my eyes. Then I stopped and thought a moment.  Other than the "dreading it" part, I think I might have uttered those words in fear a mere 4 years ago.  Among the feelings of excitement over baby blankets and little boy things and the joy of the unknown approaching, I had the fear.  The reality set in. The "what have we done" crept up in my spirit. And then I had him.  That little face down bundle that took me 2 hours of pushing to finally meet changed my world. And I can't remember what in life could have been more profound, more amazing, more miraculous and more wonderful than that change.

And now I live within this new life and embrace it. On the "mama can we cuddle on the couch and read a book" days and the "I don't want dinner, not gonna eat it" nights, I feel the change. I feel the love. I feel the time slipping away from me so quickly that it takes my breath away sometimes. I had the same feeling a year ago before baby girl came into our lives.  But this time, I knew to embrace the newness because once I saw her it didn't matter. It came with it's own set of worries and experiences.  I've learned that after that first big jump, there will be a constant change in the air. And I know now not to be afraid of it because the Lord will take it and make it beautiful. All my fears and all my joys.. right there in His hands.  Will somebody remind me of this every now and then as the years unfold? ;)

And she's back....

There are times in life that we recall something and it seems as though it happened yesterday when, in fact, it's been years. This site is one of those things. I could fill in the blanks of the last 2 years but I fear it would be a mix of boring and busy so I'll refrain. Instead, I'll just pick up here, where I am. I feel a tug in my soul to re-visit the blogging world. Why? I don't know yet. Maybe the Lord has a plan for me that I don't yet see. Not that it would be the first time this has happened. 

The first topic I'll dive into is motherhood. I may just sit on this one for a while so if you're not a mommy, feel free to check out now. If you are a mommy, I imagine you are sitting down right now and breathing. Either it's bedtime or nap time for the little ones, or your husband has the children in his care for you to steal away for a few sacred minutes to just be.  Or if you're lucky, it's those 5 minutes in the day that your children are entertaining themselves. Whatever the case may be, enjoy your moment.  I understand those moments all too well. 

I read two articles recently about mothers. One was "The top things not to say to a working mother" and the other "The top things not to say to a stay home mom". Both of these articles disturbed me. Not because of their content, but because they even had to be written in the first place. As I read each one, I had a sudden urge to grab a megaphone and run outside screaming, "Why can't we just encourage each other?".  At the end of the day, we are all moms and we are all trying to figure out how to best love our children, best support our families, and be the best we can be.  Whether we wear heels or socks all day, we are all connected. We all love our kids. We all make the decisions that are best for our family.  We all wear many hats and beat ourselves up over silly things.  It makes me wonder if every one of those people saying the things in these articles was to walk up to a mother and say "Hang in there, you're doing great", what kind of difference could that make? 

So for all of us who carry daily mommy guilt to the office or to do that next load of laundry, I say this: "Hang in there, you're rocking it!". We're not perfect but we're doing our best. And at the end of the day, that's what matters.