Do Not Fear

I'm taking a break from the craziness of the teacher workshop week. I feel like this week has been about a month crammed into 5 silly days... and it's only Thursday. It's going well, though. My classroom is set up and my plans are made for next week's lessons. I just wish I felt as prepared as I appear to be. My head is spinning from all the information I've taken in over the last few days. Policies, procedures, tons of new names and faces, school maps.. the list goes on. I feel like I'm totally on my own figuring it all out and it's tough. My brain has been on overload and my emotional/mental state has been definitely on edge. My poor husband can attest to that, unfortunately. (He's so wonderful, sometimes I think I really don't deserve him..) I let all this get to me and begin to feel quite inadequate and unprepared for the year ahead of me. I think this is called first year teacheritis. (Or maybe I'm on my own experiencing these emotions.. but I really don't think so.)
As I read my Bible this afternoon, I decided to go through the little devo page handed out by our church over the sermon topic for these past few weeks. We've been doing the 23rd Psalm in depth and the page I picked up was thoughts and verses that correspond to verse 4 and going through the valley of the shadow of death. I know my first year of teaching, though it may feel like the valley of the shadow of death, will not be nearly as bad as somethings that could happen in my life. These anxieties will be replaced by confidence once I get going in the year but right now I have a lot of negative feelings about my ability to handle this. As I read in Joshua 1, I found comfort. Joshua has just been assigned to lead the people to the promised land and he's totally afraid and uncertain. The Lord just keeps telling him to "be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord is with you wherever you go." I think I'm going to post that somewhere so I can read that everyday the next few weeks. I often feel alone and like I'm fighting the battle on my own- then I am usually forced to step back, look around and realize that it's not all on me and I'm not on my own. Abba is with me and holding me and no matter what happens with this job, He still loves me and will still be beside me. I might need help remembering this from time to time during the next few weeks... :)

The Joys of Chocolate

As I sit here on a Saturday afternoon swamped in thoughts and research about what makes a music classroom fun, I find comfort in small, candy coated kisses. "Kissables" are the official name of these little wonderful bite size treats. You should try them sometime, they're especially yummy on ice cream. Today I'm a little overwhelmed. I actually went and explored my classroom yesterday. It was very exciting to find that all the materials I need to actually teach (i.e. books, instruments, curriculum map, etc.) are all there and waiting for me to tackle them during workshop next week. What I don't have, however, are all the cute board ideas and classroom decor. If only I remembered what it was like to see the world through the eyes of a child....
I'm still totally excited amid the anxieties. After all, the Lord brought me this far, why would be leave me now?

God is SO good

Sometimes I forget how amazing God is and that He is more powerful than anything we can begin to imagine. After a year and a half of applications, interviews and prayer, He has blessed me with my first teaching job!! Monday afternoon I sat down at the computer for my weekly job search and just happened upon the webpage for the district I sub in. I noticed a music teacher opening at an elementary school and noticed that the deadline was 4pm Monday. I then realized it was 4:45...but applied anyway. Tuesday morning at 7:45 I was called for the interview at 1pm that afternoon and at 3:00 the principal called to offer me the job. God is faithful! I will be teaching elementary general music for grades K-4 and 5th grade choir at Neill Elementary school. The school is about 10 minutes from our new apartment and right across from the middle school I subbed in all last year. I'm familiar with the district and with other music teachers in it. God is so good!! I'm excited, nervous, scared, happy... so many emotions all at once. I am totally blessed and in awe of God's faithfulness and His timing. It occurs to me that sometimes He brings us to a place where we think we are meant to be before He shows us His plan.... Each time this happens I have a feeling of surprise and shock, like i didn't think it possible. If only I constantly had that 'faith to move mountains'.... something my human-self will be working on all my life I'm afraid.
As far as my job goes, I start with orientation Friday, inservice all next week and the kiddos start up the Tuesday after Labor Day. So much to do between now and then! I have a million ideas spinning in my head about classroom set up, lesson plans, hello songs, program themes.. it's going to be a crazy, fun year!

The Familiar

I read a quote once that said "It is not until you return to the familiar, the unchanged, that you realize how much you yourself have grown." I don't remember who said it..someone more famous than I, that's for sure. I think of this a lot when I return home. I'm amazed how much changes and yet, it all stays this familiar, safe place that I remember growing up in. People have grown up, places have received a new look, and it seems that I see things through the eyes of an adult, no longer a child trying to understand the world but it is still that safe place for me.
I'm had the priviledge of getting together with almost everyone of my friends that I've kept up with over the past year. I make it sound like that's so many people.. but really just a few girls including my sister. I realize now more than ever the importance of 'soul friends'. Those people that will be forever connected to your heart and will always be there for you. I'm incredibly blessed by these friends and also because I have a husband who allows me to maintain these friendships and understands how special they are. We'll be heading back to Minnesota in 2 days and as much as I love being with family and old friends it's time to get back to our life and routine.

Sand, Sun and a Graduation

I'm finally back near a computer long enough to update this thing! It's been a great week, kinda crazy but fun. I spent last week (well, Tuesday to Friday) with my old college roomates. It's a unique relationship I have with those girls. Megan and I lived together all 4 years and we added Nessa 2 years into it when we finally moved out of the dorms. We had out ups and downs, there were fights, disagreements and the usual petty girl stuff, but in the end I think we weathered the storm well and now it seems we're almost closer than we were before. Don't get me wrong, amid the girl stuff, we had some hysterical times that have become some of my favorite college memories! In the last year we've all married and moved to seperate parts of the country which presents us with the challenge of staying in touch despite the miles. I realized after my four days with them that I do indeed miss college life and all the adventures with it, but I do not wish to return. That season of my life finally got some closure and it feels good to be in the next phase.
Now- onto our trip. We spent 2 days bumming around Charleston, SC. I realize that when I complain about MN heat, I forgot how pleasant it is without 100% constant humidity. Boy howdy is it hot down here. In staying with beach trip tradition, I got sunburned despite my best efforts. Besides the beach we visited the battery, looked out at Fort Sumter, ate seafood (shrimp, YUM) and just enjoyed walking around the 'old south'. I miss the south. People are constantly friendly. For example, we were walking along the battery (that's the waterfront with a different name in this historic civil war town) and a older couple just stopped to chat. Not only did we find that they are from parts of TN that we all know well, but they were also Christians with a lot of friends and relatives who are missionaries. They were great and it was so fun to talk with them. We had lots of encounters like that. Everyone we saw offered to take our picture, smiled on the street and met us with a friendly "hello". Have I mentioned, I miss the south!
Now we're back settled in TN with Jacob's family. His brother, Garret, has a degree from Auburn University as of yesterday. It was fun to go see Auburn since I'd heard so much about it! We also got to see everyone on his mom's side of the family Sunday night for a pre-graduation party. That was great because we usually only see them at Christmas.
So far, our TN adventure has been wonderful... and we still have 11 days left!