Life before... them.

So I warned you, I might sit and stay a while on the mommy topic. Who can blame me, it's my life! Day in, day out, most nights- two or three times- and weekends. It never stops.  I heard a celebrity on a talk show today (No, I don't usually watch them but today the boy is at school and the girl is napping for more than 30 minutes, let's call it my "lunch break") an expecting celebrity was asked how she was handling the fact that she was about to become a parent.  Her answer was "I'm sort of dreading it. I like my life, I like the way things are. I don't want everything I know to disappear and become a new life."  My first response was to roll my eyes. Then I stopped and thought a moment.  Other than the "dreading it" part, I think I might have uttered those words in fear a mere 4 years ago.  Among the feelings of excitement over baby blankets and little boy things and the joy of the unknown approaching, I had the fear.  The reality set in. The "what have we done" crept up in my spirit. And then I had him.  That little face down bundle that took me 2 hours of pushing to finally meet changed my world. And I can't remember what in life could have been more profound, more amazing, more miraculous and more wonderful than that change.

And now I live within this new life and embrace it. On the "mama can we cuddle on the couch and read a book" days and the "I don't want dinner, not gonna eat it" nights, I feel the change. I feel the love. I feel the time slipping away from me so quickly that it takes my breath away sometimes. I had the same feeling a year ago before baby girl came into our lives.  But this time, I knew to embrace the newness because once I saw her it didn't matter. It came with it's own set of worries and experiences.  I've learned that after that first big jump, there will be a constant change in the air. And I know now not to be afraid of it because the Lord will take it and make it beautiful. All my fears and all my joys.. right there in His hands.  Will somebody remind me of this every now and then as the years unfold? ;)